Why the Holidays Feel Harder for Women (And What to Do About It)
The holiday season is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. So why do so many women feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and emotionally drained instead of joyful?
If you're nodding your head right now, you're not alone. Research shows that women experience significantly higher rates of holiday stress than men—and it's not just about being "too sensitive" or "not organized enough."
The Hidden Mental Load of the Holidays
While everyone enjoys the decorated home, thoughtful gifts, and perfectly coordinated family gatherings, women are often the ones carrying the invisible burden of making it all happen.
This includes:
Planning and coordinating family gatherings across multiple households
Shopping, wrapping, and tracking gifts for extended family, teachers, neighbors, and coworkers
Managing expectations from family members who have strong opinions about traditions
Decorating and creating ambiance that makes the season feel special
Preparing meals or coordinating potluck contributions
Maintaining regular responsibilities like work, childcare, and household management—on top of holiday tasks
The result? Many women enter January feeling burned out, resentful, and wondering where the joy went.
Why Women Bear the Brunt of Holiday Stress
The Emotional Labor Gap
Women are often expected to be the "emotional managers" of the family—anticipating needs, smoothing over conflicts, and ensuring everyone feels included and happy. During the holidays, this expectation intensifies.
Perfectionism and Social Pressure
Social media doesn't help. The curated images of picture-perfect holiday celebrations can make women feel like they're failing if their table isn't Instagram-worthy or their children aren't dressed in matching pajamas.
The "Superwoman" Trap
Many high-functioning women pride themselves on handling everything. But the holidays can push even the most capable women past their breaking point—especially when they're also managing depression, anxiety, or undiagnosed burnout.
Red Flags You're Heading Toward Holiday Burnout
Pay attention if you're experiencing:
Irritability or snapping at loved ones over small things
Difficulty sleeping or racing thoughts about your to-do list
Physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, or stomach issues
Feeling tearful or emotionally fragile
Dreading events you used to enjoy
Using alcohol, food, or shopping to cope with stress
Withdrawing from social connections or canceling plans
These aren't signs of weakness—they're signals from your body and mind that you need support.
5 Strategies to Protect Your Mental Health This Holiday Season
1. Name the Mental Load
Have an honest conversation with your partner or family about everything you're managing. Often, others don't realize the full scope of what you're carrying. Write it all down if it helps make it visible.
2. Practice Strategic "No"
You don't have to attend every event, bake for every occasion, or maintain every tradition. Choose what truly matters to you and let go of the rest—without guilt.
3. Set Boundaries Around Perfection
Good enough is good enough. Store-bought cookies, simplified decorations, and imperfect gatherings can still create meaningful memories.
4. Schedule Rest Like an Appointment
Block time on your calendar for rest, even if it's just 20 minutes. Treat it as non-negotiable as any other commitment.
5. Seek Professional Support
If you're struggling with depression, anxiety, or burnout, the holidays can amplify these challenges. Working with a psychiatric mental health provider can help you develop coping strategies and, if needed, adjust treatment to support you through this season.
You Don't Have to Do This Alone
At Sound Mind Psychiatry, I specialize in helping high-functioning women who are silently struggling with depression, anxiety, and burnout. Many of my patients are surprised to learn that what they've been dismissing as "just stress" is actually treatable.
If you're feeling overwhelmed this season, I invite you to take my free Superwoman Burnout Assessment. It takes just 5 minutes and will help you understand whether what you're experiencing is normal holiday stress—or something that deserves professional attention.
Take the Free Burnout Assessment →
You deserve to enjoy the holidays, not just survive them. Let's work together to make that possible.
About Chavonn Davidson-Smith
Chavonn is a board-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner with over 18 years of experience in healthcare. She provides virtual psychiatric care for women in Delaware, Maryland, and Georgia, specializing in depression, anxiety, and burnout. Her practice offers both medication management and therapy through flexible membership plans for self pay clients and insurance pay.
Disclaimer: This blog post is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.
